A Portrait Based View by a Caregiver

“I thought I was doing her a service, in fact it was the other way around. .. With any Alzheimer’s, Dementia, there’s a certain amount of frustration and sadness for everyone around..”

Tony Luciani, shares how his journey began as a caregiver when his mother, Alia, moved in with him. He expresses his grief of seeing her suffer from Dementia and her transformation from being a beautiful, young and determined lady into a frail and thin woman. Tony, being a painter and photographer, decided to find some quality time with her by making her portraits of his mother.

He shares how important it is for the dependents to feel worthy and wanted while they feel hopeless about their lives.

“Dependents want to feel a part of being something, anything… it doesn’t need to be something exceptionally profound that shared , it could be as simple as walks together..”

As much as they tried to find happiness even in the most difficult days, they both had their own points of burnout. The childhood memories that he had, made him realize how time had played a crucial role. While being a caregiver, he had lost other loved ones all of a sudden, he wishes for this goodbye to be the longest.

“She doesn’t know my name anymore.. but you know what? . It is okay.. she still recognizes my face and always has a big smile when she sees me..”

It didn’t get any better. Alia was shifted to assisted living residence as she couldn’t be at home any longer. It was a heartbreaking moment for him, to realize that his mother doesn’t remember his name anymore. Tony wishes to cherish every moment with his mother and tell her how much he loves her and just wants to see her smile till her last breath.

If you can identify with this story, please share it with others who care for someone and help them share too. The feeling of understanding, not being alone and access to support is what keeps caregivers going.  

Sharing your story helps understand yourself — feelings, passions, hopes. It lightens the load and offers relief from loneliness, anxiety, anger or guilt. Our experiences and hopes can benefit others – to know that the challenges are the same, learn new ways to cope and care… they aren’t alone but part of a team.

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Source: TED Talks: http://www.ted.com

This YouTube video has been curated by Caregiver Saathi. All Rights are Reserved with the original publisher and creators.

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