Gentle Warriors: Ashla’s Perspective

“We have to acknowledge that they(caregivers) do important work and they also have a right, a genuine right to have time for themselves.

While Ashla was working as an IT professional , she met with an unfortunate accident after which she was unable to use her limbs. Ashla was in a physiotherapy center for over 3 years to get quality care and recover as much as possible. Once she was able to sit up by herself, she realized it was time to go back home. Living in the center was also financially draining for them.

She went home knowing there was nothing waiting for her, but she wanted to do something instead of sit at home. She remained positive and tried to think of various opportunities where she could help children or older people without letting her condition come in the way. She finally got the opportunity to work at Pallium India where she could make a difference.

Having seen her mother struggle for years, Ashla felt guilty for burdening her. Ashla recognizes her mother’s role of a caregiver and advises her to take a break. However, society is never welcoming of that and makes her mother feel guilty about taking a break. Ashla feels that the patient is always given importance, but the caregiver’s role is usually neglected.

“I always felt little bit guilty that I’m keeping her always stuck with me and she doesn’t have any life of her own….I go out and work and for that she has to be in the room caring for me… I get all the attention…if I sit here smiling, that’s because of her…but always I get recognized and she never comes into the picture” 

As a volunteer at Pallium India, and someone who knows what caregivers go through, she advises caregivers at Pallium India to take a break while their loved ones are at the center.

If you can identify with this story, please share it with others who care for someone and help them share too. The feeling of understanding, not being alone and access to support is what keeps caregivers going.  

Sharing your story helps understand yourself — feelings, passions, hopes. It lightens the load and offers relief from loneliness, anxiety, anger or guilt. Our experiences and hopes can benefit others – to know that the challenges are the same, learn new ways to cope and care… they aren’t alone but part of a team.

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One thought on “Gentle Warriors: Ashla’s Perspective

  1. Thanks caregiversathi for sharing the story of Ashla Rani. Hats off to Ashla for portraying her experience in unique ways. Caregiving is an art which keeps the patient in comport. Self-care of caregiver is an important part to enable him/her to perform the task of caring. I have own experience as the sole caregiver for my beloved wife with cancer for two and a half year. Now I volunteer myself in counseling cancer patients undergoing palliative care . I am attached to Eastern India Palliative Care Barrackpore WB India. I counsel not only the patients but also the family members specially caregiver how to provide better quality of life and dignified peaceful death.

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