“I have no regrets….I don’t think there was anything I could have done better for him”
At first Kanta was in shock and refused to accept the situation. She did not let out any emotions and instead, stayed in bed for weeks together. Her husband on the other hand took the diagnosis in his stride and insisted on sorting out his finances and other commitments as he was given only 6 months to live. Watching him handle it so well gave Kanta the power to get up and take charge of the situation.
“If I’m not well enough, then how will I look after him? so I took on (the charge)….to look after myself”
Initially she gave up her social life and her routines to take care of her husband but was advised by concerned people to take care of herself too. She realized that unless she looked after herself she could not provide the best care to her husband. Kanta created a happy home for the next 3 years for her husband. She filled the house with music, flowers and agarbatti’s and ensured they spent most of their time together.
Even though Kanta misses her husband’s presence in the house, she has no regret or guilt as she knows that she provided the best possible care that she could. She advises caregivers to do their best so that they can look back and feel satisfied.
If you can identify with this story, please share it with others who care for someone and help them share too. The feeling of understanding, not being alone and access to support is what keeps caregivers going.
Sharing your story helps understand yourself — feelings, passions, hopes. It lightens the load and offers relief from loneliness, anxiety, anger or guilt. Our experiences and hopes can benefit others – to know that the challenges are the same, learn new ways to cope and care… they aren’t alone but part of a team.
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