Gentle Warriors: Roop’s Perspective

“Its about being a doctor, being a nurse, an oncologist…..that would be a matter of pride….but in one’s own personal life, caregiving is pretty much a very thankless job”

Roop’s grandmother was delusional due to paranoid schizophrenia. She was always scared people were trying poison her, as a result she would have constant feuds with hired help. Unable to keep a professional, Roop’s mother took on the caregiving role, but she too was accused by her own mother. . Physicians refused to treat his grandmother or advise the family properly, instead they blamed her age and decided not to do anything. Roop realized the emotional toll it took on her was unrecognized and he was angry not just at the situation but also the people around who were laughing about it

Roop’s mother’s siblings lived away from Kolkata and expected her to take on the role as she was the only child living in the same city. Roop thinks they may have been grateful but never showed compassion to her as they believed it was her responsibility. Having grown up in the 80’s he witnessed a change in community living where people were getting competitive and fragmented.

“To come in and talk about caregiving…caregiver’s trauma…or need for self-care etc is largely a reaction to a culture which takes caregiving for granted”

He feels that caregiving was always taken for granted as the woman’s role. But now with feminism and women empowerment in the workplace, caregiving is not what they want to be associated with so at times it is being outsourced to hired help. One’s identity is associated with one’s work but never with caregiving.

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One thought on “Gentle Warriors: Roop’s Perspective

  1. I never saw caregiving in a feminist light. In my situation i’ve seen male & female caregivers. I see in this country more as excessive filial piety. It doesn’t allow people to see us in a normal light.

    They either see it in 2 modes either selfless noble beings or bad guys. There’s really no moderation.

    I myself found myself trapped in those images. It’s hard to feel normal. So the only course is keeping on a serene smile.

    Mostly i get either the criticism or the conceited it’s your duty crap. I never really got the support.

    But i don’t let them define me. I lead my life on my own terms.

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