How to REALLY Help Our Loved Ones Who Are Grieving

Original Publishing Date: 10-7- 2019
Tiny Buddha
Angie Schultz

Watching a loved one grieve can be very unnerving for most of us. Grieving can be so private that we may not know when help is needed the most. Our helplessness and desire to do “something” – worry of what to say or fear saying the wrong thing can be counter productive at best. But, it is in these darkest times that our loved ones need us the most.

“I know it’s a risk. You may get it all wrong….But this risk, it’s the kind that matters. The kind that deepens relationships, cements love, and humanizes both giver and receiver.”

So how can we REALLY help? What’s the most compassionate and helpful way to strike a balance? The author, Angie Schultz, suggests empathizing rather than asking questions like how are they doing, or instead of asking them to call when they need help, to take the initiative and drop off food or run errands.

“What I need is for you to see where I am now. To witness for me, and to share with me, this intensity. I want you to understand how raw, how immediate, how overwhelming the suffering is right now.”

The article provides practical guidance on how to handle the situation better. It takes us through various acts of kindness and words we can use to help a loved one who is grieving.

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